I'm Sick, I Tell Ya!
by Kagayaki
Summary: Jounouchi hoped to tell Yuugi his feelings...until a transfer student barged in between them. Yuugi's smart enough to ignore his advances, right? Old-ish fic uploaded in celebration of Jounouchi's birthday.
1. Super Annoying Mario

**I'm Sick, I Tell Ya!**

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Couldn't be simpler.

Author's notes, part one: I decided to write more YuuJou again. Yes, again. This time I'm using the oh-so-holy and flawless *rolls eyes* Japanese names because there is a foreign OC in this fanfic. This story is inspired by the Tackey and Tsubasa song, "x ~dame~" (pronounced "Dah-meh", which means "no" in Japanese) and another friend's fic. If you've seen the music video on YouTube or on your TV screen if you're in Japan, the OC is a lot like the crazy lady in that video, except male and actually hot. I've seen a lot of stories in which Yuugi is the third wheel and a girl (usually Anzu) or maybe but very rarely a guy has Yami no Yuugi, Kaiba, or even Jounouchi's attention. I thought to myself, what if someone has _Yuugi's_ attention? Yeah, he's sexy _and_ he's the king of games. I thought of a girl at first, but...a guy would be awesome. This is because in a shounen-ai fic, I don't wanna imply that OMG STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE EEEEEEEVAL!!!111!1 Um...I think I've talked too much. Onward!

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Chapter one: Super-annoying Mario

Jounouchi hunched over his desk, glaring at the stickman he just doodled. Occasionally, he glanced at the handsome new foreign transfer student making bedroom eyes at Yuugi. Let's see... Hair as brown as the dirt as he was lower than? Check. Puke-green eyes? Check. Sinister grin? Checkamundo. What was missing, Jounouchi pondered. Ah...stink lines to represent the so-called "deodorant" burning his nose. And finally, the finishing touch: Devil horns. The blonde smirked at his masterpiece. In Katakana, he scrawled "Ma-ri--"

"Jounouchi!"

Oops... "Uh, uh...teach..." He could feel the entire classroom's eyes on him.

The teacher snatched the paper from Jounouchi's desk and rolled it up. "If you do not wish to learn anything in this classroom, then you may stand in the hall for the remainder of the period!" With the paper, the teacher struck the student's head, causing laughter in the room.

Of course, the loudest guffaw came from the object of Jounouchi's burning, seething hatred. _Thinks he's so cool, just 'cause he's a rich Italian jackass,_ the blonde thought, rubbing his head as he exited the classroom.

"I do apologize for Jounouchi's rude behavior, Mr. Migliore," said the teacher, presenting the doodle. "But this is just a reminder to not take the time to insult other classmates during lessons!"

"Oh no, I apologize for _Signor_ Jounouchi's lack of skill."

"Mario-kun!" Yuugi hissed.

"Look, I realize he's your best friend, but he's very rude." Mario leaned back, adjusting his rectangular glasses.

As the lesson went on, Jounouchi leaned against the wall, keeping his hands in his pockets. Thoughts of Mario invaded his head. "Asshole," Jounouchi muttered under his breath. It was only the second day of their rivalry, and already, the blonde was losing.

Hours later, lunch didn't prove to be any better than previous events. Gym was no longer a favorite subject of Jounouchi's; he spied Mario eyeing Yuugi's scantily clad body in the locker room. And in English, the foreign student made a big display of how he could speak six languages, while Jounouchi still struggled to string sentences together. As if that weren't enough, the bastard had to charm the female teachers out of expulsion for his many piercings and jewelry. Mario was hidden behind a gaggle of squealing fangirls, all eager to share bento with him.

Anzu, as did the rest of Jounouchi's friends, noticed the blonde only picking at his food. "Jounouchi, this is the second day you've barely eaten anything at lunchtime. If you keep this up, you're going to lose your strength."

"Yeah, Jounouchi," Honda interjected. "Be a man! Eat more." With his chopsticks, Honda picked up some of Jounouchi's food and pushed it to the blonde's mouth.

"Shaddap," The dejected blonde growled and pushed Honda's hand away. "It's the beginning of my suck-ass week. I've lost my appetite." He glared in the direction of the boy who captivated almost half the classroom.

The others took a glance at Mario as well, just wondering what could have prompted Jounouchi to be at odds with the brunette so soon... Well, Mario _was_ kind of a jerk, but it might've been just cultural differences.

Yuugi returned his attention to his best friend. "Jounouchi-kun?"

"Yeah?" Brown eyes brightened, but only slightly.

"Do you want this?" He offered a honey almond cookie to Jounouchi. "Mama keeps raving about her new diet and how she needs to get rid of these as soon as possible..."

Fighting back the warmth that crept to his cheeks, the tall blonde gently took the gift. "Thanks, bud." Quickly, he gobbled it up, not caring about the giggles Anzu and Honda made at the sight.

A vaguely familiar laugh drew closer to the desks that the group sat at. As soon as he arrived, Mario unceremoniously plopped the towering stack of bentos on Yuugi's desk, causing the small duelist to flinch. "My, aren't you a glutton, Signor Jounouchi?" He then winked at Anzu and took her hand. "And why weren't _you_ with the rest of the young ladies, hmm, _mia amore_?" Mario leaned down to kiss the slender hand.

Anzu immediately snatched herself away from Mario's clutches. "Because I didn't bring an extra bento with me, sorry."

"Oh?" Mario's usual irresistible grin turned into a devilish smirk. "Why didn't you? Isn't it in your culture to give gifts to newcomers?"

"Well, I gave you one yesterday, but it's not in my nature to give in to smooth-talkers," Anzu retorted, keeping her voice sweet even with the venom attached to her words. She smirked back, crossing her arms.

Internally, Mario growled. So this girl was off of her list of people to dupe with his charms. No wonder he liked quiet, trusting people like Yuugi.

Jounouchi snickered and muttered under his breath, "_Kisama_."

With a fierce glare, Mario hissed, "I know what that means..._cazzo._" He smirked as his blonde adversary flinched, wondering what that meant.

"Come on, guys. Get along!" Yuugi declared.

"Forgive me, Signor Mutou." Mario's expression turned gentler for the King of Games. "I don't really know too many people yet and I forgot he's your...best friend. Even with that sharp tongue of his, he could be really sweet."

While Jounouchi grumbled, formulating a plan for Mario's demise, Yuugi gently told the newcomer, "He is. We've been through a lot together, and it hasn't really been a year. It might take him some time for him to trust some people. He's really protective of me."

Smiling, Mario chortled, "That's sweet..." He looked up and down at the pile of food and gifts. "There is no way I'm going to finish this all on my own..." He took the bento on top, which was from a girl who Mario deemed as much less attractive as he'd prefer. With his fingers (he hadn't mastered chopsticks just yet), he picked a piece of...something that looked to be a tiny octopus?...and offered it to Yuugi. "Want some? I'd love to share with my new friends."

"Uh...Mario-kun?" Yuugi inched away from his hands.

"Hey, man, what're you doing?" Honda exclaimed. "Those are gifts! You just can't give those away."

Jounouchi and Anzu's palms met their respective foreheads.

"Oh...really?" The brunette gave a mock sheepish pout. "Well, you see, sharing food is very common in my culture, and I just thought..."

The chubby girl who gave him the bento burst into tears at the commotion. Anzu leapt from her seat to console her.

"You 'thought'_?_ That's a good one," Jounouchi mumbled, which earned him a glare through thick frames.

"Well, Mario-kun, it's okay, I understand, but it's really very rude to the person who gave it to you." Yuugi looked up at him, concern evident in his violet eyes. "I'm sure she'd be very heartbroken."

"I'm not one to break hearts, Signor Mutou." Mario's sweet voice and sincere jade gaze reddened the miniscule duelist's cheeks.

Yuugi looked down, just wondering whether this was cultural differences, or if this new student's raging hormones were headed in his direction. Yuugi definitely hoped it wasn't the latter. He reminded himself to have a big talk with his dark form and Jounouchi.

...who was looking mighty furious for the remainder of the day.

Finally, the school day was over. This was one of the times Jounouchi looked forward to. As he gathered his belongings, thoughts of holding Yuugi's delicate hand floated in his hand. _No way,_ Jounouchi reminded himself. _I can't ruin things that are going perfectly well right now..._ Or _was_ going perfectly well until _he_ showed up...

"Ready to go, Jounouchi-kun?" Yuugi's wide smile brightened the atmosphere. "Come on, guys." He motioned for Anzu and Honda to join him. "Let's all go to my house."

"All right!" Anzu grabbed her books and joined the crowd. "Sorry you've had such a bad day, Jounouchi."

"Hey, man, we should treat you to an all night video game round," suggested Honda.

"Which is kind of why Jounouchi's struggling in the first place!" Anzu snapped. "I know it's been rough for him, but, jeez."

"You know, I kinda like Honda's idea better." Jounouchi securely fastened his head with both hands.

Anzu sighed. "Fine, I guess Yuugi should decide, anyway, since it's his house." She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "And you're really taking this pretty badly, aren't you?"

"Well...why not take a break from studying? I guess we could all use it." Yuugi smiled brightly. "We could have Jii-chan make cookies with us or something."

"Yeah..." Jounouchi's heart skipped a beat. The sudden idea of Yuugi as a homemaker... It was too much for the blonde's hormones. "That sounds great!"

"_Ehi!_ Signor Mutou!"

Shit. Jounouchi bet _he_ wanted in on this, too. A quick glance at Yuugi's cheeks told that the blonde wasn't going to win this battle.

Mario strode to the small group after bidding the ladies of the classroom goodbye. "You're leaving so soon?" I was going to invite you to my place..."

"Oh...sorry..." Nervously, Yuugi rubbed the back of his spiky head. "I had no idea you wanted to have me over, Mario-kun."

Jounouchi clasped his hands together. Please don't invite him over, please don't invite him over, please don't invite him over, please don't invite him over, please do--

"Well...okay, you can come with us, if you'd like."

_Fuck!_ Jounouchi wanted to scream that particular vulgarity to the whole planet.

"I guess you could use a taste of a person's life in Japan," Anzu suggested, keeping a close eye on Mario.

"Your friends are quite lovely, Signor Mutou. The girl is spicy, the brown-haired boy is sturdy, the blondie..." Mario paused, thinking of a description that wouldn't drive Yuugi away from him. "...is a riot."

"I'll show you ri--" Honda's hand quickly covered Jounouchi's mouth before he could get himself into any more trouble. Anzu tried to wonder what Mario meant by "spicy". The new boy only laughed at this scene.

"Thanks. And you can call me 'Yuugi' if you'd like." He tried fighting back the blush threatening his cheeks.

"Yuugi...such a cute name." Mario ruffled the duelist's hair, ignoring Jounouchi's growls. "I can take you home, if you want."

"Yuugi, didn't your mom tell ya to not get in strangers' cars?" Because the blonde knew that Mario was as strange as they come.

The handsome brunette just chuckled, assuring, "Don't worry. It's not like I'm going to do something naughty to you in my car." He winked, keeping a gentle hand on Yuugi's shoulder. "And we're not strangers."

Jounouchi began to grind his teeth together, resisting the urge to carry the Italian boy all the way to the rooftop and throw him down on the hard pavement. Noticing Jounouchi's posture, Anzu and Honda were ready to restrain their friend.

"Well..." As long as his friends were with him, Mario would do no harm to Yuugi, right? "Okay. It's a very nice gesture, and I'm sure we'll enjoy it."

"And I'm sure you will. There's music, soda, and candy...every ride is like a party." With a smirk and a wave of his hand, he commanded, "So, come on, boys."

_Boys?!_ Ugh. Anzu wanted to vomit at this guy's crack. After all, his shoes looked a little too nice... As they all walked out of the classroom together, she whispered, "You know, I'm not liking this guy very much."

"I don't know what those girls see in him," Honda whispered back.

And Jounouchi couldn't figure out just what Yuugi saw in Mario, either. He mentally kicked himself, thinking, _I knew I shoulda told Yuugi sooner...  


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Author's notes part two: Wow. Migliore-kun sure is _volgare_, isn't he? So is Jounouchi. XD Admittedly, Italian is not my native language, so I've had to spend some time at and . Hopefully, my OC is not full of terrible clichés, even though you're supposed to hate him anyway. By the way, "Kisama" means "lord of the donkeys", but is usually translated to "jackass" or "asshole" or something like that. "Cazzo" means "dick".

Anyway, to the victims of hurricanes Gustav and Ike, I'm chanting for you. I'll find a way to help out. To all my readers, thank you. Reviews are very much welcome and constructive criticism is appreciated. Stay tuned for the next chapter!


	2. Riding Dirty

Author's notes, part one: Well, that was fun. Thanks to the reviewers, who are still few and far in-between, I can still write. It's all I _can_ do, seeing as everything costs money and I'm still incredibly broke thanks to shortened hours at work. I can't even afford to eat a fifty-cent bag of chips... But, I'm sure you're less interested in my incessant rambling and more interested in Jounouchi eventually beating the snot out of Mario and keeping Yuugi all to himself. Will he? Even _I'm_ not sure of that one.

Oh, and special thanks to Lady Laran and K-chan with the last chapter. I'm glad all of you have enjoyed it. Oh yes. And I've found a new site with all sorts of Italian naughtiness: .. The entire site, actually, has some nifty information that will actually reveal a bit about my OC later on.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Yu-Gi-Oh!_. I, unfortunately, own Migliore-kun, the heartless Italian bastard. I hope Kazuki Takahashi is willing to make a trade... Also, Mario Migliore does not represent the entire population of Italy, just like Bastard Keith is not the representation of the American population (THANK GOODNESS).

And before you move on, italics with quotes represent speaking in the mind link and quotes that are between hyphens denote that characters are speaking Italian, but the conversations are "dubbed" in English, the "universal" language of fanfiction. And if you are reading this fanfiction from myfandoms or ff, you are reading the censored version. If you are reading this from adultfanfiction, consider yourselves lucky. Trust me, things will get a little more...intense as the story progresses.

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Chapter 2: Riding Dirty

A sleek, violet Limousine awaited Mario and his new companions.

"Damn, that's one pimped-out ride," Honda commented with a low whistle.

Jounouchi held his tongue about the "pimped" remark, and instead settled for quietly snickering. Anzu promptly elbowed him.

The chauffeur gestured for everyone to file in. Taking Yuugi's hand, Mario allowed the King of Games entrance first. "I'd like to treat you like royalty, cutie."

"Wh-what...?" Yuugi stammered, a bright redness coloring his round cheeks.

""Hey, what's the deal with you holding my buddy's hand?!" A furious Jounouchi shouted.

"What? It's really no big deal. Are the Japanese usually this possessive of their friends?" Mario sneered back at the blonde.

"You guys ain't hooked up, and I was just curious as to _why_..."

"Oh..." Mario stroked the underside of his chin with the back of his hand dismissively, ignoring Jounouchi's tirade and Yuugi's blushing.

"Listen here, pal. I don't know where you think you are, but this is _Japan_. If you think you can just grab my buddy like that, you need to open your eyes before they make a rendezvous with my fists." Jounouchi clenched them tightly.

With a smirk, Mario remarked aloud while tapping his forehead, "Your boyfriend sure is crazy, and the jealous type."

Anzu and Honda snickered, watching Jounouchi and Yuugi blush at that statement.

Inside, the group listened to never-ending chatter about Mario's father, and his design company. Apparently, Ramio Migliore could also design theme park rides and restaurants in addition to clothing, thus, the family flew to Japan in hopes of more profits. Mario further explained, "Oh, and did you know that I'm a musician, too?" He pulled his guitar out from behind the seat. While it dazzled the eye with its white flame-pattern and diamonds, Jounouchi wasn't all that impressed.

"That's pretty cool," Yuugi said, awestruck.

"Would you like me to play you a melody?"

Jounouchi rolled his eyes, munching on a cookie. Honda looked like he was ready to fall asleep. Anzu simply looked out the window.

"Th-that's nice of you, but...my house is coming up soon. See that store over there?" Yuugi pointed to the building with the word "GAME" on top of it.

"Ok. Yamato-san!" Mario called. The car screeched to a halt. The driver helped everyone exit the vehicle. "So, this is it, eh?" The brunette scanned the building from the floor to the top. "It's cute."

"Uh...thanks?"

Jounouchi sighed. "Let's just get in. I'm starving."

"All right, lover boy," Mario teased. Smirking, he held the door for the others. He was unable to suppress laughter as Jounouchi shot a glare in his direction.

"Jii-chan, I'm home!" Yuugi announced. Sugoroku left the counter to happily greet his grandson and his friends.

"Welcome back, Yuugi. I see a new face with you today." Smiling, Sugoroku asked, "Is this the foreigner you've been talking about yesterday?"

"Am I speaking to Signor Mutou?" Mario bowed graciously to the old man. "I'm very honored to meet the family of the King of Games."

"As I am to meet you. My, Italians sure are polite." Of course, Sugoroku was blissfully unaware of how the foreign student acted around his grandson's friends. "I'll make some tea for you."

Mario gave Sugoroku a couple of bags of cookies. "I hope you will enjoy these. It shows my gratitude for you allowing me inside your home."

_If only he could be like this _all_ the time...,_ Anzu thought.

"I most certainly will! Thank you, uh...what was your name again?"

"Migliore. But you may call me Mario, if you wish, Signor Mutou."

"That's a delightful name, young man. You're welcome anytime. Just remember to remove your shoes before going upstairs," Sugoroku instructed.

"Oh, don't worry. I know this culture quite well," Mario assured with a laugh.

_Is that why you re-gifted someone's bento?_ Anzu wanted to ask.

Mario slipped his shoes off and joined the others upstairs.

"Mama, I'm home!"

"Hi, Yuugi. I heard from downstairs that you brought a new friend." The brown-haired woman approached the boy with European features.

"_Signora_ Mutou, I take it?" Mario bowed and gently took Mrs. Mutou's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I can see where my dear friend Yuugi gets his lovely." He bent down and kissed the slender hand.

"Wh-why...thank you!" Mrs. Mutou blushed giddily like a schoolgirl.

Yuugi could only avert his gaze as his mom fawned all over this young man. He noticed Jounouchi, Anzu and Honda didn't sit too well with the "lovely" line.

"May I offer you a gift? I'm sure you'll be most pleased." Mario presented a small box of chocolates to Mrs. Mutou.

"Oh, no. I couldn't possibly... But, if you insist." She accepted the gift, although still conscious of her figure. "Thank you. You are such a kind young man. Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Of course. You have been the more generous one, however."

Mrs. Mutou skipped happily to the kitchen. It had been a long time since she had any male attention other than Sugoroku and her son.

"Well, that was..." Honda began.

"More than a little strange," Jounouchi finished. "I mean, if someone was hitting on my mom..." Thank goodness Shizuka wasn't under Mario's radar. Yuugi being under it was too much for the blonde to handle.

Mario chuckled. "Like I said before, maybe a song will soothe you." _And shut you up. _He began to strum his guitar, hoping he'd win some additional praise.

As soon as the melody filled the room, Yami no Yuugi took this opportunity to contact his host. _"Aibou... Aibou!"_

Yuugi slipped into the link without his friends noticing. _"Other me? What is it?"_

_"I'm not so sure about this boy, Aibou. Don't get too close to him."_ Yami no Yuugi's fixed glare was as stern as ever.

_"Well, I'm way ahead of you on that, but he seems to want to get too close to _me_,"_ Yuugi replied, worry clear in his violet eyes.

"Yuugi, I know you're much stronger than that. You have the ability to say no when things look dangerous, and trust me, I think they will."

_"...Okay." _Momentarily, Yuugi shifted his gaze downwards, then met the serious deep purple orbs of his spirit form. _"He seems really sweet...on the surface. But I promise you, Other Me, I'll let him know when I'm uncomfortable."_

"I trust you, Aibou." Yami no Yuugi's lips curved into a little smile.

"Yuugi? Anybody home?"

The smallish gamer jumped nearly five feet when Mario had to alert him. "Oh...y-yeah! I'm fine."

"Yuugi! It's dinner time! How many times must I call you? Everyone's at the table already!" Mrs. Mutou grumbled.

"Yes, Mama!" Yuugi scampered to the dinner table, following a snickering Mario.

The young musician was given a fork, though he assured Mrs. Mutou that he could use chopsticks. Jonouchi and the others, however, knew he was showing off. Mario did have to switch between a fork, spoon, and chopsticks quite often (he knew sukiyaki wasn't to be consumed with his hands, of course), but he laughed it off.

Jounouchi couldn't keep his eyes off the tie hanging on Mario's neck. A fantasy of the boastful young man being lynched with the unnecessary accessory tickled Jounouchi's mind.

"Dude, what are you smiling about?" Honda asked, poking his friend.

Jounouchi ignored him. "You have a nice tie, Migliore-san." He bit back a snicker.

"Oh." The thought became contagious. "Oh yeah...accents your uh, neck quite nicely." Both boys kept their giggles under wraps, though not very well.

Of course, Mario saw through the peanut gallery. "Thanks," he responded in a deadpan voice. Anzu took it upon herself to elbow Jounouchi, though the thought of hanging the spoiled brat was entertaining. Yuugi, however, didn't think it was so nice...

After the meal ended, Mario bowed with much gratitude. "It was quite delicious, Signora Mutou. _Doumou arigatou gozaimasu._"

"Oh, don't mention it. You're quite welcome." Secretly, she hoped for another kiss on the hand. "I absolutely love your music, by the way."

Yuugi frowned. She never said that when he turned the radio on...

"Hmm, I wonder what time it is?" Anzu asked, breaking the conversation. "I just feel like we've done nothing productive."

Glancing at the clock, Yuugi answered, "It's almost eight. Guess we'd better get cracking."

Mario felt a vibration in his pocket. He took out his tiny black cell phone, decorated with a skull pattern and rhinestones. "Ack. Papa is paging me to come back. I hate to be so rude." He made a face at Jounouchi, who almost sporfled at that comment.

"Yeah, I guess we'd all better go, too." Anzu stood and stretched out a bit. "I don't want my dad to go nuts again because I was out late at a _boy's_ house--let alone one I've known for years."

"But, thank you, Signora Mutou for giving me the honor of dining with you and your family." Mario bowed again, gently holding Mrs. Mutou's hand. He then faced Yuugi, putting a hand on each of his shoulders. He tuned out the silent growls he knew would be heard. "And thank you, Yuugi. I'll be back, soon enough." Mario grinned watching his new friend's cheeks turn a bright shade of pink.

"You're most welcome any time, my dear young man," A rather giddy Mrs. Mutou said.

"Oh, and Anzu..." Jade eyes fell upon the young girl's chest. "I'm sorry I called you a boy."

Anzu restrained her clenched fist from soaring straight into the egotistical young man's face.

Jounouchi sighed, being the first to leave the house. The rest of Yuugi's friends soon followed after bidding their goodbyes.

"Yuugi? Why don't you help me with the dishes?"

"Okay, Mama." As he gathered the plates, he asked, "Wonder what's gotten into Jounouchi-kun? He didn't seem so energetic as he usually was..."

Jounouchi stood, watching the new guy climb into his limo. He sighed as it sped away, figuring that his chances with Yuugi were shot. Of course, the young duelist was quite intelligent. Never did Jounouchi think Yuugi would fall for charmers like Mario. But like the straight-F student that he'd always been, Jounouchi always believed the excuses he made up, thus missing a wonderful opportunity...

"Jounouchi!"

"Huh?" The blonde found Honda's hand resting on his shoulder, and Anzu standing not too far from him.

"You know, you're easier to read than a picture book. I just didn't want to say anything 'cause you're so amusing."

"Shut up, Honda!" exclaimed Jounouchi.

Anzu giggled. "I know Yuugi wouldn't fall for that moron. You believe he will, and yet you call him his best friend?"

Firmly, Honda placed both hands on his pal's shoulders, and looked sincerely into the pair of brown eyes. "Don't give up, man. Yuugi's a champion, and so are you. So, what does that mean?"

"You're gonna win by a landslide, that's what," Anzu finished for Jounouchi. "And we wouldn't let Yuugi be fooled by that idiot, even if he meant the world to him." She motioned for Honda and Jounouchi to put their hands together, and lay her own on top. "And if Mario's the world, you're the _universe_."

Warmth surged from Jounouchi's heart to his whole body. The unsure, weak smile turned into a grin of confidence. "Thanks, guys." The universe...that sounded awesome. Without it, of course, small planets and galaxies would be nothing. Like how he and Yuugi were before their friendship...

Inside the backseat of the limo, Mario kept his phone to his ear the whole time. –"No thanks, Papa. I just had trailer trash food. I think I'm actually going to throw up. Oh yeah. Yeah... He's really cute."-

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Author's notes part two: Oh no, he did not just call Yuugi's family "trailer trash"! XD Don't you just love his "Hello, Mrs. Cleaver" act? Um, anyway, that chapter sure was fun. Life is really being a dick right now, but I'll try to update every week if I can. Let's hope for total victory for Jounouchi. _Ganbatte_, Jounouchi-kun!


	3. I Won't Take Dame For An Answer

Author's note, part one: Well, due to stuff going down, this story might be a little slow. Sorry this chapter was later than expected. It turns out I got _more_ hours at work. More money is good, right? NOT. I get stuck dealing with complete assholes for customers and harassment from co-workers, and a bad mood seriously kills my inspiration. And there's this Buddhist study review that I never study for... Also, I just became addicted to _Kingdom Hearts II, _which unfortunately gave me a new favorite yaoi pairing. Axel x Roxas is currently fighting with Jounouchi x Yuugi for the top spot. And since Axel is a pyromaniac, I doubt this will be a fair fight.

Also, forgive the random Japanese and Italian in the previous chapters. They'll probably be prevalent in the next ones, too. But Mario does speak other languages, as you may remember from chapter one.

Disclaimer: If I owned _Yu-Gi-Oh_, then there'd be no fat jokes in it. Mario Migliore is mine, even though he's the cure for the "not-so-fresh" feeling in your panties. Yes, I am calling him a douche.*

*Douching is actually very bad for your reproductive health.

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Chapter 3: I Won't Take _Dame_ For An Answer

The next day after school, the gang gathered their belongings to prepare for the next school day. Jounouchi hated working after school, especially now that time with his best friend had to be further compromised thanks to that rich, spoiled egomaniac that shoved himself between him and Yuugi.

Meanwhile, Anzu and Honda took the extra time to talk amongst themselves. Their voices were kept barely above whispers, as the ever-strict teachers might be listening on about their students' personal lives—not to mention Jounouchi, who was already afflicted with lovesickness.

"I just...don't know what to do," Anzu murmured, leaning on her desk. "On one hand, I'd really like Jounouchi to be happy, although...what if Yuugi _likes_ that creep? Yeah, I know it's a scary thought."

"Yeah, but like a lot of scary stuff, especially in the horror movies, they're fantasy. I highly doubt that Yuugi is one to fall for complete douchebags."

"Yeah, what am I thinking? 'Respect Yuugi's boundaries...'" Anzu gave a self-chastising chuckle. "Yeah, what if said boundaries are about to be crossed?" While thoughts swirled around both brunettes' heads, they observed the scene with Jounouchi and Yuugi, hoping that Mario wouldn't steal the show.

"Hey Yuugi, see ya later." Jounouchi gave a half-smile and a wave to his pal.

"Jounouchi-kun, are you okay?" Yuugi noted his best friend's lack of enthusiasm. It was the end of the day. Usually, the blonde would skip merrily with Yuugi, disturbing the passerby.

Jounouchi looked down and paused. "...Yeah, I'm all right. Don't worry about me, okay, bud?"

"You don't look so okay..." Violet eyes pleaded for Jounouchi to let him be comforted.

"Well..." Jounouchi began, then sighed. Damn the cutesy look. "I'll be working late again. So, yeah...I'm probably going to be too tired again tomorrow. But, I promise you, we'll do something fun together." A soft smile was given to assure the petite duelist.

"_Ne,_ Yuugi!" Mario, who stood by the door, wagged his outstretched index finger towards him. Yuugi followed, leaving Jounouchi to stay put and eavesdrop. "You got plans tonight?"

"Well..." At the corner of his eye, Yuugi noticed Jounouchi's disheartened grimace. "Not really... Why?"

"I'd like to treat you. You've been so nice to me."

"R-really? Thanks, but--"

A pointer finger was put to Yuugi's lips. "No buts. This'll be fun. I got to see only a little bit of Domino City and I'd like to see more with a friend, if you so please. So..." His hands clasped together, jade eyes locking endearingly with violet. "Please, won't you come?"

This was kind of like a date, wasn't it? And by the way Yuugi found himself grudgingly enchanted by the enthusiastic smile, the answer was a definite yes. Now Yuugi knew how his friends felt when faced with the Cutsey Look of Death. "...All right." Yami no Yuugi was going to have his head for this.

A distraught Jounouchi made his way through the door and carelessly passed through between the two boys.

"Jounouchi-kun!"

"What was _that_ about?" Mario grumbled audibly, steering a jade glare in Jounouchi's direction.

"Bite me!" Nearby classrooms could hear Jounouchi's outburst.

"No thanks, Jounouchi. I'd rather not get poisoned." The brunette stuck his tongue out.

"Mario-kun!" Yuugi went after his best friend. But before he could catch up with him, Jounouchi had already shoved his hands in his pockets and stormed out the corridor. Yuugi trudged back to Mario. "That wasn't very nice."

"Look, Yuugi." The Caucasian boy cupped the little game king's chin. "I'm sorry."

"He's my best friend..." A heavy sigh escaped Yuugi's lips. Wide, innocent irises locked on to Mario's face. "I really hate it when people I care about can't get along."

"Hmm..." The taller boy led Yuugi out of the classroom. "Tell you what. I'll find a way to make it up to you. We can talk about Jounouchi later." Lightly, long arms snaked around Yuugi's petite body. A grin appeared on Mario's face as cute, round cheeks turned pink. "I'll pick you up at six. Wear your favorite outfit." He let go gently and left.

Yuugi, immobilized and speechless, knew his suspicions were confirmed.

~*~

Yami no Yuugi watched his other half pace restlessly across their soul room. _"Aibou, I really don't think this is such a good idea..."_

_"But, other me, I think I should go,"_ Yuugi protested to his spirit form. _"I have to get him to see that Jounouchi-kun isn't as bad as he thinks he is. And besides, it's rude for me to stand him up."_

Yami no Yuugi sighed. _"Yuugi, you may be able to talk to him, but I don't think it's enough for him to change his opinion of Jounouchi-kun."_ Sincere red eyes softened, focusing on Yuugi. _"And besides, it sounds like Mario is more interested in getting closer to you than anyone else. I mean, this _is_ a date, isn't it?"_

_"Well..."_ Yuugi blush answered for him.

The spirit form smirked. _"I told you not to get too close to him, but your heart won't let you listen. I'm afraid I have to chaperone this outing. I'll take over if things get...intense."_

With that, Yuugi embraced his dark self tightly. _"Thanks, Other Me."_

"Yuugi!"

_"Ah! It's Mama! I'd better go. Sorry, Other Me!"_ Yuugi immediately closed the link. He called back, "Coming!"

_"Good luck,"_ Yami no Yuugi murmured to himself, keeping that smirk on his face.

"Come on down, Yuugi! Your friend's here!" Mrs. Mutou sounded a little bit too excited. Perhaps it was because of the sight of Mario in his casual clothes.

As Yuugi quickly descended the steps, his heart pounded swiftly in anticipation of Mario pouncing on him and doting him.

"Yuugi..." the jade-eyed boy's voice was low and smooth, as if catcalling the King of Games. The leer scanned the black tank top, accenting slight muscles and the tight leather pants hugging slim legs. The collar and the chain with that gold trinket he always wore for some reason didn't look so bad, either. And just for this outing, Yuugi wore a couple of rings and an extra necklace.

"H-Hi..." Yuugi, whose voice was now like a hamster's, couldn't believe he was going through with this. Violet eyes shifted downward, trying to no avail to keep his nervousness under wraps.

Sugoroku couldn't help but notice that his grandson wore more jewelry than usual. "Look at you my boy. You look like you're on a date!" The old man laughed teasingly.

"Oh, Grandpa, stop!" Yuugi didn't need to blush any more than he did the past few days. It didn't get much better when Mario snaked his arm around the short boy.

"Well, have a good time, boys. Be sure to come home after dark, Yuugi."

"Don't worry, Signora Mutou." Mario shot a smirk in her direction. "I'll bring your son home safe and sound."

As he was escorted out of his home, Yuugi did a double take, but then saved the story of his nosebleeding mother for another day. Just before he stepped in the purple limo, Yuugi asked, "So, what will we be up to tonight?"

"A night of fun," Mario's voice was laced with a hint of seduction. He closed the door after the two were situated in the car.

The vague answer had Yuugi extremely apprehensive of what 'fun' meant... He dressed up nicely for the occasion and cared not to remove any clothing.

"We'll see. What do you like to do with your friends, Yuugi?" Mario slid closer to his date and wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

"Well, when Jounouchi-kun and I don't have tournaments or when we're not bogged down with school, we just like to hang out."

"Hang out? That's it?"

"Yeah." Yuugi nodded.

"You mean, you don't really buy anything?" A perplexed Mario asked. "Because everything costs money."

"Well, most things do, but having fun doesn't." Yuugi smiled, straight into those jade eyes. "Well, maybe we do buy some stuff like ice cream, but it doesn't really matter much if you enjoy yourself."

"Hmm..." Well, this was becoming a boring conversation. "Yuugi, let's buy a treat. I'd like to see where your favorite cafe is."

"Well, there's this one right by the train station, but it's really expensive... I did get to try a few cookies when Anzu applied there for a job."

"All right." The wealthy boy directed the driver to the vicinity of the train station.

Several moments passed. The pair arrived at a small outdoor cafe, where mostly couples treated themselves after a hard day's work. Mario ordered coffee with skim milk for himself and a parfait for Yuugi.

Sipping his coffee, Mario declared with a bit of disgust, "I don't see why this place is so popular. The coffee's not even that great. I guess it's because it's localized."

"You think?" Yuugi tilted his head. "What's the coffee back at your home like?"

"Well, we travel to many parts of the world, so I really don't have a 'home'..."

Purple eyes dropped down towards the parfait. "I'm sorry..."

"No, it's okay." Mario's infectious grin brightened the atmosphere. "Anyway, most of the stuff on the menu is for breakfast only. After that, it's only okay to drink coffee with milk or black." He traced the rim of the paper cup with a disdainful look. "Oh, and we don't drink out of paper buckets. We use cute little ceramic cups."

"I didn't know that. Why not have a snack, too?" Well, they were spoiling dinner, but Yuugi didn't mind.

"I'm watching my weight," Mario put bluntly.

"But you're already skinny!" Yuugi exclaimed, as if one couldn't already tell from the way the Caucasian boy's intricately emblazoned t-shirt clung to his torso. His jeans looked like they were going to slip from his legs any moment.

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a musician, and I have an upcoming contract." Ignoring the rumbling of his stomach, he sauntered to the fence and leaned against it, trailing the edge of his sandal along the rail.

Timidly, Yuugi stepped towards Mario, and offered him the strawberry from the parfait, coated with ice cream. Of course, it might give him the wrong idea, but it was not in his nature to just let someone starve.

Beaming from ear to ear, Mario took the offered treat. "Thank you, darling." He threw his arms around Yuugi and whispered, "You sure are forward, aren't you?" Mario snickered at how much the little round face looked so much like that strawberry, especially the color.

While Mario quickly finished the fruit, Yuugi's appetite disappeared. "H-hey...do you have anything else you wanted to do?"

"Hmm..." Mario tapped his finger to his chin in thought. "Where do you shop for clothes, usually?"

"Just regular department stores. I've been getting into more of the gothic stuff because of the influence of my cousin." By now it was perfectly natural for Yuugi to not reveal anything about his other half to strangers.

"Because I saw a store when I first moved here. I think you might like it. And you're not going to eat your parfait, are you?" Mario smirked at the melted treat in Yuugi's hands.

"Not really. Did you want it?"

"No thanks. There's no more fruit on it. You might as well throw it out."

Yuugi detected the hint of disgust in Mario's tone, but sighed and threw out the melted parfait anyway. The two headed to the limo for the next destination.

~*~

"M-Mario..." An embarrassed flush paved Yuugi's features. "I...I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Don't worry, Yuugi," Mario replied confidently. "There's no one but us two...well, the store manager's here, but he doesn't matter."

"He will!" Yuugi protested, trying to stay silent, but his temper caused said employee to hear. "He's looking this way!"

"Look, will you just come out already?" Mario gave an exasperated sigh...which turned into a seductive smirk as Yuugi stepped out of the dressing room, wearing a frilly black gothic Lolita dress.

"This isn't funny!" Yuugi growled quite loudly. "I can't believe I agreed to this!"

Boisterous laughter filled the room. "Oh you poor thing, Yuugi. Have it your way. Let's get out of those clothes." _And then into my bed,_ Mario secretly thought.

"Gladly..." Yuugi mumbled under his breath.

"You can try on the other clothes I got for you. Oh, and don't worry about the price. It's a gift." Mario gave his date a gentle push towards the dressing room.

Three minutes later, Yuugi came out in a white tank top and sleeveless black leather jacket. Instead of the usual black collar, a white collar with diamond studs adorned his neck, as did a plaid tie. Black vinyl pants hugged his legs.

"I love it." Mario scooped the light boy with the merchandise and carried him to the counter. In one swipe, he slapped a platinum card down on the counter. "Put all of it on this, please."

~*~

Jounouchi hung up his uniform in the lockers. It sure felt good to get off of work early. Putting his casual clothes back on, he made a priority to stop by Yuugi's house, just in case Mario deflowered him behind his back.

~*~

After the long car ride, the pair could be seen near an alley close to the game shop.

"Do you like dancing?"

"No, not really." Yuugi lowered his head.

"Oh, that's too bad. Hey, that girl you hang out with, Anzu, she dances, right?"

"Yeah." Yuugi smiled, being reminded of his friend. "It's been her dream for as long as I can remember."

"That must be nice..." Mario looked up at the sky. Time sure did fly. "This is why I like this place. You get to have so much freedom."

The wistful expression was something that Yuugi never expected to see. "Well, I'm not so sure about that..."

Mario cut him off. "You get to have clubs, sports, and festivals, and my old school in Italy didn't have that."

"Really?!" What kind of school wouldn't have clubs or sports? Yuugi tried to keep an open mind, but that fact hit him like a two-ton weight. "Do you have really strenuous exams?"

"Oh hell yeah, we do." Mario nodded with a grin. "We do nothing but study and there are still high failure rates. I almost failed twice, myself."

"I can't believe it. That must've been hard for you."

The light green eyes turned gentle, only for Yuugi. "You're so nice. So many people wanna hang out with me, but only you understand me. I may have my band members, but they're not as sweet as you." Long, slender arms pulled the small form closer.

"W-wait!" Yuugi stammered. But before he could sputter another word, Mario's index finger was put to the lips of the shy boy. And as much as he prayed and hoped that the next event wouldn't happen, it was too late.

Mario's lips collided with Yuugi's.

And in public, too, of all places. "_Other Me, quick!"_ On command, Yuugi changed into his other form. Yami no Yuugi tore his lips from Mario's face. "I'm sorry. I'm not ready for this."

"But, Yuu..." Mario did a double take to his right. "Oh...we have company."

Yami no Yuugi slowly turned his head towards a seething growl. "Jounouchi-kun?"

_"Jounouchi-kun?!"_

"Do you mind?" Mario asked curtly. "We're having a moment here--"

Yami no Yuugi interrupted him. "I'm sorry, Jounouchi-kun. I was actually pulled into this without my consent."

"Wait, 'consent'?" Mario exclaimed, raising an eyebrow. "You sound like Jounouchi was your boyfriend!" A leer was shot in the blonde's direction.

Jounouchi cast his head down, concealing the humiliated flush from his adversary. His clenched fist trembled. "Just forget it!" was his outburst before running home. The two boys were too far away to see it, but tears ran down Jounouchi's cheeks as he ran from the scene.

Yami no Yuugi sneered at Mario, causing him to back away. "Good night." He stepped aside from him and headed for the game shop.

Mario had never seen Yuugi like that before. It was like the puny student wouldn't take 'yes' for an answer. Well, no matter. Soon, he knew, Yuugi would change his mind...

~*~

The next day, study hall bustled with its usual chatter. However, Mario took the opportunity to announce, "Everyone, listen up! There will be a party at my house this Saturday, so don't be late. Oh, and dress nicely." He wandered around the room and passed out invitations. Among those who didn't receive one were the only two fat students, a very scrawny girl lacking breasts, and Jounouchi.

* * *

Author's notes, part two: Nooooooooooooo! How could you just run off like that, Jounouchi?! I thought you were the seme! *sighs* Anyway...boy, this sure turned out to be a downer, huh? Kinda like the rest of my week. My heart goes out to all of you who had some jerk steal the hell out of your first kiss. And even moreso if you didn't punch him. So, when will Yuugi make like the 80's and just say no? And will Jounouchi turn into Bowser and beat Mario's ass? 'Til next time, folks! Ganbatte, Jounouchi-kun! And Yami no Yuugi, too!


	4. Mission: FAIL

Author's notes, part one: *sigh* Yet another late chapter... Oh Jesus, the muses are fading into the darkness, all because of my _KH2_ obsession. Damn you, Mansex...er, _Xemnas_ for looking so much like Malik Ishtar it isn't even funny.

And on a personal note, I got some more health problems that seriously hindered my writing ability. Thankfully, I've been taken off of the medications that seemed to be causing them. Also, due to Election Day, this chapter kind of had to be posted late anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own _Yu-Gi-Oh!_. However, I do own Mario Migliore, the panty-drying, boner-shrinking asshole. Man, if his attitude were his face... OH SWEET JESUS! NIGHTMARES FOREVER!!!

* * *

Chapter 4: Mission: FAIL

"Screw you, I don't wanna go to your stupid party anyway," the blonde mumbled to himself. Arms crossed, he reclined on his desk.

"What's the matter Jounouchi?" Otogi asked with mock sympathy. "You didn't get an invite? Too bad..."

"Hey, shut up! I don't even _want_ to go to his stupid party. And listen to him yap about how rich he is and shit." His lips curved slightly into a smirk. "But, at least I _know_ that Yuugi, Honda and Anzu ain't going. They're too smart for that dickheaded idiot."

"Actually, we _are_ going," Anzu couldn't help but overhear Jounouchi's predicament from afar.

"_What?!_ Shit!" Jounouchi buried his forehead in his palm. "This is not happening. I'm at Disneyland..."

"No, no, no, wait. You misunderstand." She quickly approached him, then whispered, "Yuugi seemed to really want to go. Something about telling him that he's not the one for him. And while I agree, I don't think it'll be enough for just Honda and I to tag along. If anything happens, we'd really like for you to rescue Yuugi."

Jounouchi's head hung lower. "But, how in the hell will I be able to do that, if I can't get in his house?"

Otogi cut in, "If you don't want him taking your little boyfriend away from you, I can help you. But."

"But...?" A slightly aggravated Jounouchi trailed off. Why did everyone have to call Yuugi that?

"You will have to do _everything_ that I say."

Jounouchi swallowed the lump in his throat. "I don't like the sound of this 'everything'..." He raised an eyebrow, just wondering what Otogi whispered in Anzu's ear. She cringed at first, but was suddenly enthusiastic later.

"Wait right here, Jounouchi." She skipped to Honda, who then jogged to Mario, weaving through the crowd of girls on the way.

After exchanging a few short words that Jounouchi tried to listen in on to no avail, Honda reported, "I told him I was bringing a date with me. He asked me how hot she was." The grin on his face spread from ear to ear. "I told him that she would blow him away with her gorgeousness."

Jounouchi knew what that grin on Honda's face meant, and it didn't help that Anzu and Otogi were sharing the same expression. There was no backing out now...

~*~

Saturday rolled in, seemingly sooner than expected. Rock and techno music could be heard blocks away from the Migliore residence. The bouncer scanned the next two people in line after Yuugi and Anzu--Honda and...an unusually tall red-haired woman in a tube top and a skirt.

The bouncer made a low whistle at the young woman.

"I'm gonna kill you dead, Honda," Jounouchi grumbled in a very low voice as he shoved through the entrance, very relieved to use his own voice again.

"Heh. _After_ you rescue Yuugi, then you can attempt to kill me, _Shigeko_."

"Shigeko's" fist trembled, though if he struck Honda, his cover would be blown sooner than expected.

Surely, Mario was popular, but Jounouchi hadn't expected the whole school and more to come to this party. This mission was going to be a lot tougher than expected. His enemy was on a mini-stage, performing, so at least he hadn't gotten his grubby paws on Yuugi yet. And speaking of familiar faces, after weaving though the crowd, Jounouchi literally bumped into Anzu.

"Nice skirt!" a male classmate next to her shouted.

Oh great. If he was lucky, Jounouchi was going to kill Otogi for making this costume too convincing.

Anzu would have been amused, however, she was far more worried. And Yuugi not being next to her was definitely not a good sign.

"Dammit! Where's Yuugi?!" Jounouchi closed his mouth, wishing he didn't make that outburst. Most of the eyes were on him.

"Well, that's what I was about to ask you!" She exclaimed back at him. "Well, we'd better stick together. Kinda difficult in this crowd, if you ask me."

"Hey! There you are." Honda, nearly breathless, finally caught up with the gang. "I'm glad I found you two, but where's Yuugi?"

"Spiky one-foot-tall hair can't be easy to miss, no matter how short he is." Jounouchi stood on his toes, trying to look over the crowd. He did see his nemesis hop off the stage, then weave his way through the crowd to stop in the middle of it. "Oh no. Please don't say that's..." Jounouchi thought aloud, catching a glimpse of gold, black and red next to Mario. "Shit, guys, change of plans." On command, the group headed towards the two.

~*~

"Uh, Mario-kun? I'm sorry about what happened the other night..." Yuugi began, sitting upright on Mario's plush bed.

"It's okay. I've been pushing you into something you didn't really want." Mario took a slim box from a drawer. He opened it, offering Yuugi a chocolate treat. "Would you like one?"

"Okay." Yuugi took one and chewed on it. It tasted quite delicious--a little salty, and made him feel a little drowsy after swallowing... "Look, I think I should tell you about the other night, Mario-kun. I just...don't...feel..." The small teen fell unconscious.

"Idiot."

~*~

Jounouchi pulled the knob and twisted it rapidly, only to find it wouldn't budge. "Shit, it's locked! Anzu, Honda, help me break this door down."

The trio moved far back towards the wall. "Ready when you are," Anzu told Jounouchi and Honda.

"Okay, everybody ready on three, got it?"

"THREE!" They shouted in unison, and rammed into the door at once. It forced open, which was favorable. However...

"You. Fucking. ASSHOLE!" No... That couldn't be Mario hovered over an unconscious Yuugi.

"How the fuck did you get in?!" Mario bellowed. "And what the hell are you wearing?!"

Jounouchi removed the wig and the top, then marched towards the offender. Without any words, he socked Mario in the jaw with all his might, causing him to fall over.

During the distraction, Anzu and Honda quickly carried Yuugi out of the room.

"I'll have you arrested...no, _murdered_," Mario growled and lunged toward Jounouchi.

The blonde could easily dodge the attempt. "Gee, I sure wish you could you know, put your massive amounts of money where your mouth is, punk. 'Cause I know you ain't trained in combat like I was." He shoved his knee in Mario's abdomen. "The things you learn by being out on the streets rather than a fancy-ass mansion."

Mario crouched down on the floor. "There's no way in hell I'm giving up. Yuugi doesn't deserve trailer trash like you."

"My best buddy doesn't deserve to be raped," Jounouchi snarled as he forced the other down to the floor by the neck. "Especially by the Sultan of Sluts who thinks he can do it behind my back and live to tell the tale." He firmly planted his foot in Mario's face, then delighted in kicking the carcass around the floor.

"Please stop! Oh god..."

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to hear." Jounouchi smirked, backing out only slightly.

Suddenly Mario's hands gripped Jounouchi's ankle. He pulled with as much might as he could, causing the stronger teen to fall.

"Dammit!" Was Jounouchi's outburst as he fell to the floor.

"I was _too_ trained in self-defense, _cazzo_."

A swift kick to the head silenced Mario. "Bet your trainer got his license out of a cereal box." Jounouchi pinned him to the floor, punching until an ample amount of blood pooled on the carpet. He rose from the still body. Mario was unconscious, but still breathing, barely. Looks like Jounouchi's work was done.

...Which was his last thought before a group of men in suits barged in. Three of the men stunned Jounouchi, then dragged his unconscious body elsewhere.

Author's notes, part two: Remember ladies _and_ gentlemen--NEVER leave your drink unattended, accept suspicious food from anyone in private or take the offer of going to someone's bedroom unattended. Seriously. Also, do not spike someone's drink, implant drugs in food, or offer someone your bedroom at a party. Gee, why don't they give that advice instead?

And...let's hope Jounouchi-kun can make it out of this sticky situation...


End file.
